I try to not think this way because I know not all people are like that.|||I'm nicer to myself, so people want to be nicer to me. I don't think they're treating me differently because of the weight loss - even though I've lost over 40lbs, I only lost 1 dress size - but rather how I carry myself and treat others. I'm more confident and happier and have more energy, and I think people pick up on that.|||I agree that the change is due to my change in attitude and new found confidence. I much more outgoing now as well. I do however feel like I'm getting a little attitude from heavier people that I don't recall getting in the past. Sort of just a defense mechanism I think, but I may projecting that, I don't know. In general though my interactions with people are much much different, but again I attribute it to my attitude.|||I think I embodied the "jolly fat person" type of thing. It's hard to be mean to people when they're smiling at you. I don't notice a difference except at restaurants. I get asked more if that's "really all I want?" and I say yes.|||Definitely! I抳e noticed this a lot recently. People speak to ME first now. Like on my walks every afternoon, I pass a lot of runners and bikers and walkers, men and women, and I definitely hear more hi抯 than I did before!|||I think people basically react to what we put out there. I know when I'm at my heaviest, I feel unhappy, self-conscious and not really in the mood to deal with other people (because my confidence is in the dumps). People pick up on those things, and most tend to stay away. Once I begin losing weight, I feel more confident, there's a little sway to my hips (lol) and I begin to be friendlier, which results in others being more friendly to me. Maybe I'm wrong but I don't think it's about the weight. I think it's the vibe people get from you.|||People respond more positively to confidence. Lots of research on this. One study I read of was rather funny. When people spoke confidently, even when their statements were known to be inaccurate, other people still saw and followed the confident person as a leader. You don't have to know what you're talking about, you just have act as if you do, and people will follow you, even if they know you're leading them the wrong way.
People also respond more positively to more attractive people (there's a lot of research to back this up too). Even just looking at photos, people will sort them according to attractiveness when asked to sort them based on how competent, intelligent, friendly...
When asked to sort the photos on bad qualities (selfishness, rudeness, aggression, law-breaking, stupidity...), it works in reverse. We see it in the movies, the "bad guys" are almost always less attractive than the "good guys".
My thin sister (well, she's only now starting to put on a bit of weight at 30), has always been shy. She's very cute, and I can't believe she hasn't had more friends and dates, but she's painfully shy (although she's a riot once she's comfortable). It makes it hard for her to meet people, because she doesn't make eye contact, and all of her body language says "keep away from me."
I've always been friendly, confident, and outgoing to a greater than average degree. I've never had problems making friends, but I was usually the person to make the first move (and keep making them if I had to). It did bite me in the butt, a little in that I was so outgoing with platonic friends, that men who were interested in becoming more than friends assumed that if I'd been interested, I would have said something. On a couple occasions, I learned after the fact that a guy I'd been interested in, had also been interested in me. Still I had more "luck" with interpersonal relationships than a lot of my thinner and prettier friends, so confidence has worked pretty well for me. I didn't have tons of male attention, but I did date some very nice guys (when I got brave enough to ask them out or brave enough to notice when they were asking me out).
And yet, it's not the whole picture. I've met people who have responded so hostiley to me, that I suspected or knew that it stemmed from my weight. For all I know, those who didn't tell me outright that it was my weight, may have hated all women, or all cheerful people, or blue eyes....
People respond to the package. There are a lot of ways to grab people's attentions and leave a positive impression. The physical package is one of the most universal. A smile can open a lot of doors, and so can attractiveness.
On a side note,
I found it really weird that even men who weren't attracted to me, responded well to cleavage (what's that about?) I didn't really notice it (because I wasn't one to expose much cleavage) until I wore a ren fairesque, "wench" costume at a Halloween party. Even though I weighed 350 lbs, I got more friendly male attention that night than I experienced ever in my life. It would be indecent to expose that much boobage on a regular basis, but it was a learning experience (and boosted my body-image).|||I seriously was thinking yesterday, how funny it is, that all of the sudden am not invisible anymore!!! I have not had anyone address me in public that I did not know, in a long time.. I have only lost 15 lbs, but I have noticed that people are talking to me in just random situations... Weird, I would think the bigger you are you stand out, but clearly it is the oppisite!!|||I dunno, I really do think people are nicer when you get thinner. Definitely, the confidence plays a huge role. People who like themselves and believe in themselves are much more attractive in general. But weight plays a big part.
Someone mentioned that Danielle was experiencing this increase of attention at a weight that was the OPs highest. But the more you weigh, the more invisible you are. So who knows what kind of attention (or lack thereof) Danielle received at her high weight. So what OP finds to be no attention from people, Danielle might find to be a big improvement from where she was.
I experienced this myself. If I'm having a good day, where I'm not feeling shy and I'm feeling confident, then I get an obscene amount of attention. People are nice to me everywhere I go, it's weird. But even when I'm having a bad day where I feel shy, I'm not dressed cute, my eyebrows need to be done, and I have no makeup, people are still nicer to me than when I was 260.