The vibe I got from people at my biggest that had to interact with me was like "I better not be too nice to her, I don't want her to think I like her..."|||I'm noticing a lot of male attention! When I was younger, I was 126 pounds or so, but had big boobs and was curvy. I got a lot of attention at the time but didn't understand or care for it. Went all the way up to 194 pounds and met my fiance who loved me for me, and loves that I'm curvy.
Now I'm at 168, and just last week I was waiting to cross the street and some young college age guys were calling me beautiful and talking to me from their car! Granted I'm 23 so we were probably the same age, but I'm not used to that kind of attention from younger guys. If I do get hit on it's usually creepy old men who will think I'll go for them just cus I'm heavier.
And now I've got my downstairs neighbor and a guy at work giving me a lot of attention, which I'm not used to either so I take it all innocently. Boy, is Dylan jealous! He bought me a CD, surprised me with peanut butter cups, and professed his love to me and said he was worried about all these guys. I guess he's not used to others hitting on me, haha. I have never ever seen him get jealous.
But who cares about all those other guys, I'm enjoying Dylans appreciative looks as I become more toned and healthy :)
But it is odd getting attention that you never got before, the guy from work I met when I was new and when I was still larger, now I've seen him again for the first time since then as he's been put on my team. Kinda makes me grossed out because why is it now I'm suddenly special? I was always a good person who was kind to others.
Anyways, this turned kinda long, but you get my point.|||OodlesofNoodles wrote: The vibe I got from people at my biggest that had to interact with me was like "I better not be too nice to her, I don't want her to think I like her..."
Yeah, that. Or else: "If I'm too nice to her, she might start following me around & I might get stuck talking with her for a long period of time. I may not be able to extricate myself easily."
Or: "If I'm too nice to her, someone else might see it, and they might think that I like her, and the guys will give me all kinds of grief for that."
Nobody wants to be burdened by a fat girl.
(Not even the fat girl herself, really. It's why we're all working on ourselves here.)
When I get that vibe, it's an instant launch backward to high school, or even before that, & my very worst days as a fat girl.
Fortunately now I'm generally not taken for a fat girl, but I remember being stigmatized all too clearly, so I know when someone's dealing with me without any distate or even revulsion in their manner.|||Just to clarify, I have always been very outgoing and confident. Office jokster, party planner, the one who everyone calls to find out what is going on that weekend.
I was mainly referring to complete strangers who don't really get to know you, are just in situations with you - for example, the front desk lady. I smiled and said hi EVERY morning for two years and she would just mumble under her breath. Now she smiles at me and says hi first!
Also, a lot more doors have been opened for me! Literally, people stop and hold the door for me all the time. That rarely happened at my high weight.
Or when I'm on the bus people will move things off their seat to let me sit by them, before they would pretend not to see me and leave their packages in the extra seat...
I also think that these degrees of "nice" get even better when weight goes down. Many of my thin friends have their bills paid anonymously at restaurants. Or clerks at stores pull strings to get them deals or help solve their problems. Those things do not happen to me at my current weight, even though I would say I'm the extrovert out of all of them.|||I think its human nature and survival... if you search far enough in our subconscious... i'd imagine a person automatically avoids someone who is heavier/extremely underweight
As weird as it sounds, other animals do it too. In most cases its for Smaller/weaker/sick. But i'd imagine to a human on that level being obese would be almost the exact same. Just like being extremely under weight, people avoid a person. Because imagine in cave man days... what would the use of an obese person or a severly underweight person be? There wouldnt be one. They would slow down the "tribe" if you will.
Maybe thats just me thinking out of the box :)
PS i know my spelling is terrible.|||I'm kind of the opposite right now ... heavier than I was ever.
From this I can honestly say, that yes, I got treated much nicer by people when I weighed 160, as opposed to this weight. Strangers were much friendlier, and one thing that sticks in my mind is going in the perfume/cosmetics in a big department store, and when I was thinner, almost every woman working wanted to give me a sample or try something on me. Now, at this weight, none even smile or say a word.
I take very good care of myself, and actually probably over-compensate to try to stay away from that "sloppy fat woman" mentality that people seem to have.
One thing I have noticed lately is the reception by people when I go for job interviews. It's like they are all impressed with my experience and qualifications, but then they see me and I'm crossed off.
It's really quite sad, and I hate to feel that there are so many judgemental and cruel people out there.
Normal sized people definitely get the better side of it.|||I can defintiely relate...when I was 15 I went from 240 - 170 & all of a sudden poeple everywhere were so much nicer to me & boys actually liked me too!! I was told OMG YOU ARE SO PRETTY instead of just hearing OH YOU HAVE SUCH A PRETTY FACE ..yeaaa I def felt different & was real popular throughout h.s too...speed up about 5 yrs I gained all my weight back & then some right before my 21st bday...i stopped going out with friends bc I was so embarrassed of myself & yea people weren't as nice to me anymore by NO MEANS..I didn't get hit on anymore or very rarely (not saying like that should matter but my point is obviously GUYS ARE SHALLOW! lol but I was with my b.f throughout all this so that didnt even matter..lol JUST making a point) The nice comments from people quickly stopped..I was a waitress too..so I had to interact with ALOT of people on a daily basis...& so many people started telling me how beautiful I would be if i lost some weight (like I didnt already know that & excuse me..so im not pretty bc im plus size??) I had this guy once actually staring at me the whole time I waited on him, then as I was adding up his check he comes up to me..right in my face & starts saying like in condescending way CHICKEN..FISH..FRUIT..LETTUCE...etc.. yea he started naming food to me!!! SO i said excuse me sir???? So he felt it was necessary to semi-shout (even though he was already in my face) WHAT ARE YOU DOIN?? YOU ARE WASTING THAT GORGEOUS FACE ON THAT BODY!! Yea no lie he said this to me!! I shoved his check at him & walked away. & omg all the cooks that I worked with along with so many more customers would tell me JUST LOSE WEIGHT YOUR TOO PRETTY...ughhh if i had a dollar for everytime I heard that I would be rich!! Then this one lady that would always come into the diner...one day she said to me YOU ARE SOO CUTE BUT CAN I ASK U SOMETHING (I thought ughhh here it comess!!!) WHY ARE YOU SOOOO BIG??? yupp thats what she asked me infront of about 20 customers....I just walked away..Then last year I worked at a bank & my manager was a really fit girl i mean her body was fantastic.. & she was soo nice to everyone, but when it came to me she acted really weird & distant..never smiled or said good morning..&I would always catch her staring at me & sizing me up & down everytime I got up, I mean not just normal looks either like deadly stares! & she always made it a point to talk right infront of me about how she runs 5 miles every morning & drinks nothing but water and green tea..& I could tell like everytime she looked at me I felt she HATED ME or something!! I'm not lying! Like I know there are people that exist on this world that just hate overweight people...She was def one of them...She made me so uncomfortable that I actually couldn't take it anymore & quit! So yea I've seen & heard it all!!