so YES MOST DEFINITELY people are sooo different when your thin & fit in to "society's so called standards of whats normal or pretty.... uhhhh.....yea so now Im 23 & finally losing! after almost 3 yrs of harsh brutality!! & to be honest Im not doing it for ANYONE else but me...I could care less what people think of me...Im doing it bc I want to wear cute clothes, be confident and not die of a heart attack at 30...uhhhhh people really can stink cant they!! LOL
GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE ON THERE JOURNEY!|||Yeah I mean I've noticed it too and I attribute some of it to my own shift in my attitudes and clothing options, but a lot of it also to the way that "different" people are stigmatized. Being overweight is considered a flaw in large part in our society.
I think when people see the Other, they are looking for things to admire - maybe someone that leads an interesting life, has witty things to say, or seems incredibly intelligent, has an amazing body - things that they themselves want more of in themselves or identify with. Fat is identified as such a negative trait, and seeing another person whose flaw(s) are not yet to be identified and whose flaw(s) are so easy to point out with support from popular culture, it can be seen as a turnoff to getting to know that person because now that person has come to symbolize a major flaw- much like if we see a person being overly emotional or something we personally might disapprove of, we may avoid this person. This depends on all people of course, or everyone would be mean to all overweight people.. but I think its partial explanation for a general popular view on people overweight. Also, to be caught conversing with this person would admit a general acceptance of their weight and we may fear that it may send a message about ourselves to others. It's strange.'
I think its a combination of not wanting to identify with someone whose perceived flaw is fully on display and this also means a fear of how others perceive the person and also an acceptance that associating with those who are of a certain size/shape implies a certain acceptance of this flaw (not saying that this is correct or right but it's so easily on display & faster to draw conclusions from than say, associating with someone who is dim-witted but whose appearances are highly approved of by popular culture).
I definitely have noticed people being nicer to me,but I also noticed that when I was bigger and changed how I dressed it also made a difference. It can depend on a variety of things but I think in general, the stigma involved with being "fat" is a powerful thing in itself.|||I was thinking more on this...
I think alot of people see it as a fixable "disease". That in turn makes them "aggressive/angry/rude" etc.. They look at someone who is bigger and think "wow.. they could do something about that, but obviously they dont".
I dont see a problem in not being attracted to bigger people, that isnt shallow. I really dont think it is.. but to be MEAN to someone because they are bigger? Thats shallow.
Most people avoid larger people too because ALOT are unhappy... who wants to be with grumpy all day?|||All of these posts mentioned A LOT of interesting things and got me thinking about whether I've experienced this. I find people have always been really nice to me. I do work in a setting (part-time, full-time student haha) where I'm interacting with different people all the time! And everyone is just so nice and friendly! The people I do notice that seem to clearly dislike me because of my weight are those certain girls. You know, the ones that think they're the best looking in any room they walk into? And they have that look to them, that snooty look, that says "I'm better than you". Yeah, those girls lol, they obviously don't think much of me because of my weight.
Guys wise, I do get hit on by some guys, while others I don't, meh. A lot of my friends at university, are guys. I've never noticed them to be embarassed to be seen with me. I have lunch everyday once a week for two hours with one of my (very good looking) guy friends and he never seems to care that people might see him with me, and he even introduces me to his friends (I have noticed though, that friends of his that are girls, REALLY don't like me haha).
But yeah, in general most people are nice to me, they haven't ever been rude to me or ignored me, except for those certain girls. They're the only ones I can think of. I guess maybe because I always have a smile on my face? I dunno..but yeah that's my experience.
To prettyinpink , I think that's soo rude what those people said to you in public while you're at work in front of others! That's none of their business. If they're concerned, fine, but keep it to yourself (esp since they're strangers!). How would they like it if someone publicly starting counting off their flaws in front of 20 others? Some people don't seem to think before they act/talk. Stupid. The only person who's ever asked me that question of "why are you so big" was my doctor a few months ago but that's because she wanted to help me and get to the bottom of my weight issues! Now she can ask me that, cause I go to her to get my health evaluation and expect her to tell me things that aren't right with me...but those strangers? That's not their palce. So sorry you had to deal with such rude people!!!!|||I find that strangers are nicer, people I've known well are slightly meaner. And I'd bet that 90% of that is coming from ME...my attitude makes me come across happier and more confident and more approachable to strangers, and seems odd to people who knew me well and who had placed me in a role that didn't fit in with the new me.
Another 10% may be coming from other people's prejudices and issues interacting with overweight people.
I notice that on days when I'm down or less confident, I get those same less-friendly reactions. The department store example, for one...I had a bad shopping experience where nothing really fit (and yes, that still happens at goal!), and then walked to the makeup counter and not one person offered me help...I wasn't able to even make a purchase without literally going to drag over a salesperson. A few weeks later, I had just found my dream dress for a big work event, felt fabulous, and everyone rushed over to try to make me over. My weight didn't change, but my attitude definitely did.