I've been hanging around here for a while, but haven't posted in nearly a year, I guess. I think my lack of posting happened right around the time that my body and I started disagreeing about what size I should be. (that is to say, I started eating like crap, lost the will to workout... you get the picture)
So now I'm 30 pounds UP in a year's time, none of my clothes fit and I'm hating life (actually, i'm mostly just hating getting dressed in the morning, which consists of my same over-sized hooded sweatshirt and increasingly more tight pair of jeans uniform everyday).
i'm not really sure what happened to cause the initial re-gain and/or why i didn't catch it before it got to be so far gone. but here i am. frustrated, annoyed, sick of my body not being the body i had achieved, knowing I have the ability to get back to it, and still watching the scale hit numbers i hadn't seen in 4 years.
can someone please tell me how to break the cycle? point me in the direction of some motivation? anything so I don't have to by yet another pair of BIGGER pants.
please?
Oh Dancinggirl! I've been there! About a year ago, I was weighing in about 5 lbs. away from my goal. Then, a series of difficulties derailed me and one day, turned into a week, one week turned into a month and one month, turned into 8 months. I regained almost 70 lbs. of my hard earned weight loss. It was horrible. Once the spiral began, it was like I was trying to put on weight with a vengance, while all at once, feeling completely out of control and not knowing how to stop it. I knew that if I could have one good day, I could turn that into a few good days, a week, a month, a year, forever? Yet, I didn't know how to do it.
My advice might not be helpful, but I just want to tell you how it changed for me, in the even that it does shed some light. I went to see a really nice doctor who asked me some questions. I started to justify my weight and to tell her how I gained all my weight. I told her about the horrible things that had happened in my life, but as I said those words, it hit me like a ton of bricks: there was no good reason to be fat. I shouldn't have turned to food and given up the way I did.
As soon as I left that office, I completely changed. I decided that I MUST have one good day and maybe...just maybe, I could turn that one good day into another. I cleaned up my diet and when I saw something I wanted to eat, I simply decided that I would try to postpone it until tomorrow. I then added back the exercise...very slowly. I was humiliated to go to the gym because people there used to look up to me and admire how much weight I had lost before and now, it was like walking down the hall of shame. I had a talk with myself and realized that it was more important to get healthy than to wonder what people are thinking. I still care, but it's something I try not to think about. My health is way more important.
I have had many excuses to not get back into the swing of things. I have a child with special needs, I have chronic daily migraines, which means there never is a moment when I'm not in pain of varying degrees. I struggle with depression. Taking care of a house with my kids, my husband, my dog and my cat isn't easy with the pain I"m in, but I MUST do it. I MUST separate my emotions from my food....otherwise, I will just feel worse.